Thoughts on Aging

Yesterday I went to see a play titled, “Swimming Upstream,” put on by a group called Viva. Most of the actors were in their sixties through eighties. The audience was liberally sprinkled with seniors in the same age range. While waiting for the play to start, I heard the following comment made behind me, “That doesn’t ring a bell with me, but my bells are kind of rusty.” The play dealt with topics of aging, the theme being “living against the current with heart and humor.” In one scene, a middle aged daughter was telling her mother to be careful of this and careful of that. The mother finally had enough and burst out, “You’re not the boss of me.” Then they laughed at how their roles had reversed. In another scene one of the actors commented, “Remember when thongs were things we wore on our feet.” After the play I took a walk along the Boulder Bike Path and noticed how I still paid attention to cracks in the sidewalk going back to when I was a kid and the saying was, “Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.” How many of you remember this and still unconsciously or consciously step over sidewalk cracks?

Words of Wisdom

Here are some more words of wisdom and jokes that people have shared with me when I’ve given presentations:

Don’t lose an hour in the morning and spend all day looking for it.

Live every day as if it is your last, and one of these days you’ll be right.

A man went to his doctor and after a series of tests the doctor met with him and said, “There are two things wrong with you. First, you have short-term memory loss.” The man nodded. Then the doctor continued, “And you have diabetes.” The man smiled and said, “Well, at least I don’t have short-term memory loss.”

Geezer Humor

Some more geezer humor that people have shared with me:

Snow is like old age sex. You don’t know when it will happen or how long it will last.

Definition of ROMEO: retired older men eating out.

A young man was teamed with a geezer in a golf game. On one hole the young man's ball ended up behind a tall tree. The geezer said, “When I was your age I hit a ball from this same spot over that tree.” Not be outdone, the young man tried the shot, and it hit the tree and bounced back to where it started. When the young man expressed displeasure at the geezer’s comment, the geezer added, “When I was your age the tree was only three feet tall.”

Wisdom on Writing and Aging

I continue to collect little snippets that people give me when I give presentations or that I run across in my reading. Here are some of my recent favorites:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers down. – Steven Wright

How to stay young: When you hit 32, go to the Celsius scale.

Wisdom is knowing what to say and not saying it.

Men of Mystery

I had an opportunity to participate in Men of Mystery in Irvine, California, last Saturday for the second year. This is an enjoyable event where 50 male mystery authors and approximately 400 fans gather for the day. Each of us gave a one minute pitch and listened to guest speakers Gregg Hurwitz, Christopher Rice and Don Winslow. Don spoke about how addictive writing becomes. The longest break he has taken is five days. He can’t not write. And the big benefit—every morning he gets to ask “what if?” We signed books and then over lunch schmoozed with the fans sitting at the table. For equal opportunity, there's a comparable conference held for women mystery writers in May.