Geezer Jokes

In the fifth book of the Paul Jacobson Geezer-lit Mystery Series, Care Homes Are Murder, Paul and his twelve-year-old granddaughter Jennifer tell each other politically incorrect geezer jokes. Paul’s daughter-in-law (Jennifer’s mom) disapproves of this activity so Paul and Jennifer sneak off to tell these jokes to each other. Here’s a sample of these very sophisticated jokes:

-        Why didn’t the geezer cross the road? Because he was no longer a spring chicken.

-       A doctor, a lawyer and a geezer take a walk together. They start talking about the most important things they could do. The doctor said, “I’d like to cure cancer.” The lawyer nodded and added, “That’s important. I’d like to prove the innocence of all people wrongly jailed.” The geezer looked at the other two and said, “I’d like to find a restroom.”

-      What’s the difference between a leprechaun and a geezer? One has a pot of gold and the other is a pot of old.

-    What’s the difference between a geezer and the Easter bunny? A geezer has fuzzier ears.

-       Why didn’t the geezer vampire bite the young woman’s throat? Because he forgot his false fangs.

-       How old do you have to be to be a geezer? You’re a geezer when you’re too old to take advice but still young enough to give it.

-       You know you’re a geezer when you spend more time trimming hair from your nose and your ears than the top of your head.

-       You know you’re a geezer when you wake up in the morning and something hurts but you have no clue what caused it.

-       You know you’re a geezer when you keep telling the same story over and over again, but people your age don’t notice any difference.

-       You know you’re a geezer when the highlight of your day is taking a nap.

-       And you know you’re a geezer when the small print really is.

-       You know you’re a geezer when it’s easier to pop your joints than a pop top. 

-       You know you’re a geezer if the mortician offers you a senior discount.