Thursday, August 18, 2016

Grandson Lessons - Problem of a Limited Point of View


Over the last year I have watched our grandson progress from lying in one position to moving around on his back, turning over, sitting up, crawling, standing and taking his first steps. His world has changed from seeing everything from only one point of view—looking up from his back to seeing things from different levels and being able to interact with his environment.
How many of us get locked into looking at the world only one way? Learning entails exploring, trying different viewpoints and interacting. A good lesson for me.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

What I Learned from My Grandson

The last year has been a whirlwind. We moved from Boulder, CO, to Lakewood, CA, and our grandson was born. He recently had his first birthday—a time to reflect over his first year. My wife and I were in the delivery room, and I have seen him almost every day since. When our daughter went back to work after her maternity leave, we became primary child care during the week. Rather than a burden, this turned out to be a joy. As I mentioned to my wife, I know my grandson better at this age than I did any of our three kids at this age because I was working full time when our kids were born and now I’m retired.
So what have I learned this last year? Plenty. I hope I have helped our grandson develop, but what follows are some of the lessons he has taught me.
Value of a Smile
Our grandson has a huge smile. Sure he has his grumpy moments, but most times when he wakes up from a nap or greats us at the door, he gives us a grandparent-heart-warming smile. And he isn’t faking it. He’s a happy kid who likes to share his happiness. He has taught me that greeting life with a smile is preferable to being a grump.
 

Thursday, August 4, 2016

New Books Arrive


It’s always exciting for me when copies of my latest published novel arrive. This happened last week with Court Trouble: A Platform Tennis Mystery.

In Court Trouble Mark Yeager is retired from his stressful career as an entrepreneur and now gets his adrenaline fix from games of platform tennis with a motley crew of equally middle-aged buddies. But when one of his good friends is bludgeoned to death in the dark on one of the platform tennis courts, Mark takes it personally: Manny Grimes had likely saved Mark’s life by insisting he see a doctor for what turned out to be prostate cancer. Mark decides he must identify the killer, even if it means another close encounter of the Grim Reaper kind.

“This solid series launch from Befeler introduces an unlikely amateur sleuth, platform tennis buff Mark Yeager. . . . Readers will look forward to seeing more of this determined tennis enthusiast and cancer survivor.” —Publishers Weekly
 
 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Unified Field Theory


Everything relates to everything else.  Things interrelate.  We just need to pay attention to the interconnections.

The effects of causes propagate out like ripples on a pond, intersecting other ripples, forming crests and troughs.  A particular crest or trough may seem random, but tracing back the chain of events leads to defined causes.  We are not isolated individuals, but all interrelated in the oneness of the human experience.

There are times when I notice what at first seem like coincidences, but these events start tying together.  Something one person says connects with something I’m reading, connects with an event in life, connects with something I see on a walk.  Thoughts start swirling around and a pattern emerges.

I read about a concept such as “flow” and then see examples of it all around me.  I experience being in the moment in sports, while writing, with my family.  It all seems to “click.”

So we can be oblivious to what’s going on around us or we can become aware of the subtle interconnections.

We are one.  The basic teachings of major religions point to the same universal themes.  It’s just that the presentation has been altered through time and across the different traditions.

Do unto others.

The golden mean.

Resist not evil.

Focus on giving not receiving.

Share.

Love.

These are the basis of the human condition and apply to all people in all cultures throughout all time.

One saying expands upon this:  The wise man can do whatever his heart desires, because his heart knows what is right.

We are all capable of enlightenment, nirvana, heaven, whatever the term you chose.  It basically means we are capable of becoming the best we can.

The universe is neutral.  It’s neither good nor bad.  It just is.  And within this universe, we can choose the path we take as we interact with the oneness of existence.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Holograms

 
Holographic material stores images that can be recreated when light strikes the material.  Multiple images can be stored in the same space, each offset by a slightly different angle of recording.

People can be like holograms--multiple attributes in the same person.  From how someone acts in an emergency, you can deduce dimensions of their character.  Seeing someone interact with a child, indicates how they operate with other people. 

What are the snapshots in your own life that divulge the aspects of your character?

Finding a wallet on the ground.  Dealing with a friend who needs assistance.  Grappling with a decision to get up to face a difficult day or to roll over and go back to sleep.  Taking a break to enjoy a sunset.

If light passes through a part of your being, what does it reveal about the essential you?

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Change and Transformation

 
We live in a world of change.  Innovation and disruption impact all we do.  Some people embrace change and others resist it, seeking to maintain the status quo.  Too much change puts constant stress on people and systems, and lack of change can lead to stagnation and death.

Ultimately change is about finding a balance.  Growth is change, learning is change, survival is change.  But change just for the sake of change can be counter-productive.  As human beings, we need to adapt over time, but there is also a need for a home-base, a place of quiet and consistency to give us strength for dealing with the next onslaught of change.

Transformation is a form of change that inherently exists in life.  A caterpillar becomes a chrysalis becomes a butterfly.  A baby becomes a child becomes a teenager becomes an adult becomes an older person.  We begin weak, gain strength and end up weak again. We learn to crawl, then walk, but end up shuffling or in a wheelchair.  Corn becomes a popcorn kernel becomes popped popcorn.  A seed becomes a plant becomes a dead stalk.

Life and death include the processes of transformation and change.

We can look at this and say change is good (growth and development) or bad (death and decay), but change is neutral.  It just is.  The renewal process and evolution of species are all aspects of change.

So much depends on our attitude toward change--how we embrace it or fight it.

True, change can lead to improvement or decline.  A corporation can transform into a more successful company or one that goes out of business.

Change as adaptation is necessary, but change of successful survival techniques can be detrimental.

My advice to myself: find a golden mean of change, the necessary balance between growth and a stable base.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Person with Purpose


July 7, 2016

For Immediate Release

Today the Felding Foundation announced the recipient of the annual Person With Purpose award.  This year’s winner asked to have his name kept anonymous and to be just known as PWP.  PWP is currently employed as a street sweeper on a downtown mall.

“My purpose is to keep the mall clean so that the citizens and visitors can enjoy this fine outdoor resource,” PWP stated.  “I’m able to enjoy fresh air, meet many interesting people and have developed a world class collection of odds-and-ends that people have discarded.”

When asked why he is sweeping the outdoor mall rather than being mayor, a brain surgeon or leading the fight to save the spotted chameleon, PWP simply said, “Those jobs are already filled.  The mall needed a sweeper.  I can make a contribution and I enjoy the job.”

One of the selecting panel judges asked PWP if he got bored.  “Are you kidding?” he replied.  “Every day is a new adventure.  I may need to deal with snow, rain, wind or sunshine.  There are new people to meet.  I have a clear goal and I pursue it every day.”

The Felding Award Committee has developed a question and answer document based upon an interview with PWP that is being distributed with this press release.


###

 
Questions and Answers

 
Question:  What comes to mind when you hear the word “purpose?”

Answer from PWP: When thinking about terms such as “purpose” I find it easy to lose track of what the word is.  I know the general intent, but can’t remember the specific word.  So I used a memory device and imagined a porpoise.  Since then whenever I’ve been thinking about this subject, I start by picturing a porpoise and the word “purpose” snaps into place.  What better memory device than a beautiful mammal that moves gracefully though the seas with determination and intent.

 

Question: What does purpose mean?

Answer from PWP: Let’s dissect purpose.  First, there must be a goal, a vision, a target, a principle destination, a Mecca.  We seek an outcome or result.  We have an idea and a point where we’re headed.  “I have a dream,” resonates and produces a mental image of what can be.  My goal today, once this interview is completed, is to sweep the whole mall.

To reach that end, there must be a plan.  We must design a blueprint, draw up a map or formulate the direction to take.  We must take aim.  This requires calculation, reason and thought to figure out how to accomplish our objective.  My plan is to start at one end of the mall and sweep to the other end.

With a plan in place, we must then decide to go on the journey.  It doesn’t just happen, but requires the human will to pursue, take the necessary action to work toward the goal.  I could have the greatest plan, but if I never pick up my broom, nothing happens.

Once we are on the journey, it will not be easy.  There will be obstacles along the way.  We must maintain our energy, focus and resolve to continue.  We must have the determination, ambition and desire to take the next step.  We make a commitment and then follow through.  We must maintain faith with the single-mindedness to succeed.  We are tested during our trip.  Shall I give up?  Shall I just sit down beside the road and forget about it?  We must be tenacious, stalwart, staunch, undeviating, unfaltering, unwavering.  This requires a confidence that we are on an important mission.  We must not get distracted but maintain our focus on the scope of what we have set out to accomplish.  I once had a prankster steel my broom.  I could have given up, but instead I went to a store and bought a new broom.

 

Question: What if you don’t achieve your goal?

Answer from PWP:  Pardon me for being blunt, but it’s the journey, stupid.  We must set goals and work toward them, but whether we reach them or not isn’t as important as what we do along the way.  I set out each morning with the goal of sweeping the whole mall.  Most days I make it, but one time I got sidetracked helping a lost child.

 

Question: Compare purpose to lack of purpose.

Answer from PWP:  Purpose involves energy, direction and focus.  When I am purposeful the broom just flies in my hands and the day zips by.  The next morning,  I can’t wait to pick up the broom again, to see what adventures await me.

Lack of purpose--I sit staring at the ground.  I don’t pick up my broom and I don’t go anywhere.  My eyes close.  I think of taking a nap.

Whatever occupation or hobby we’re involved in, we can find ourselves bouncing between these two extremes.  Some is directed from the outside. 

“Take that hill, soldier.”

“Yes, sir.”

But the ultimate meaning and drive comes from within each of us.  Rather than take the hill, I could go off to the pub or I could take the anthill with the same verve as Teddy Roosevelt charging up San Juan Hill.

So even if the impetus is external, the deciding factor is still my own attitude and how I interact with the external calling.

 

Question:  You can’t be up all the time.  Who or what inspires you?

Answer from PWP: Like everyone else, I seek someone to inspire, motivate and lead me, but still there is an internal switch that is flipped to indicate I am ready to be inspired, motivated or led.

Why not just flip the switch and provide my own inspiration, motivation and leadership?

 

Question:  Just a minute.  I’m asking the questions here.  Why not just flip the switch and provide your own inspiration, motivation and leadership?

Answer from PWP: Exactly.  I couldn’t have posed the question better myself.  When I take control of my own attitude I can flip the switch.  If I wallow in feeling sorry for myself or am holding a grudge, then I need someone to shake me.  That’s why it’s always good to have some external feedback along the journey.

 

Question: What purposes do you pursue and which do you abandon? 

Answer from PWP:  We all have many choices.  Talent dictates some.  My five-foot-six inch body wouldn’t help becoming a basketball star.  Yet, I’ve developed the endurance to sweep from dawn to dusk.

 

Question:  Do we choose a purpose or does it choose us?

Answer from PWP:  Every person can have a purpose.  Each purpose is unique.  A child who has a beautiful voice can become a singer and give enjoyment to millions of listeners while feeling the fulfillment of music, whereas I’m tone deaf and can’t carry a tune.  So my purpose is not to sing.  We may have an innate talent that we can develop.  We may be born with this talent (it chooses us), but it is still up to us to develop and nurture this talent.  Not all children with beautiful voices become singers.  Fulfilling this purpose requires commitment, action and follow through.

 

Question:  Where does purpose apply in life?

Answer from PWP: Purpose can be found in many different spheres.  There are examples in work, family, volunteer activities and even sports.

When I was in high school, I wanted to win the state mile run.  I carried a picture of the track in my wallet as I practiced every day.  Did I achieve my goal?  I beat two runners and came in sixth. But I enjoyed the journey, and it contributed to my still being in good physical shape.

 

Question:  You’ve been compared to Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Winston Churchill, yet you’re only a sweeper.  What gives?

Answer from PWP: I’m just a common person with purpose.  Clearly, there are world famous PWPs, but every person in the world has the potential to be a PWP in whatever sphere of influence he or she has.  I can choose to be a grouchy curmudgeon or a cheerful participant in life.  Look around you.  There are people who seem to have everything, but are miserable.  There are others who have survived the most tragic events, yet are full of joy and enthusiasm.  I’ve found what I’m good at, I enjoy it, I support myself and I give back to the community.

 

Question:  What does purpose have to do with meaning?

Answer from PWP:  Purpose involves meaning.  We don’t invent meaning.  We discover it.  It is there to be found, but we must proactively go after it.  We have to seek it out.  The universe is benign, and it is up to us to interact with it, set a direction and be agents of positive change.

We must question.  What goal shall I set?  What path shall I follow?  What steps will I take on the journey?  How will I overcome obstacles?  What do I do when I feel discouraged?

The hero’s journey is the journey of purpose.  There is a challenge and the hero leaves the comfort of home to achieve a goal.  Obstacles are encountered.  The hero grows, learns and eventually succeeds.  With the quest accomplished, the hero returns as a complete person.

 

Question: How does religion relate to purpose?

Answer from PWP:  As I sweep along the mall, I meet many people of different faiths.  My pocket has been picked by people professing to be religious, and I’ve seen some of the most incredible acts of human kindness from people who claim they’re not religious.

I believe that all religions at the core are addressing the same basic topic:  There is a power greater than ourselves, call it God if you like, but it’s up to each of us to take responsibility for our actions and our lives.

I’ve boiled my spiritual beliefs down to three basic principles.  First, treat others as they need to be treated in their circumstances.  Second, do what you can to make the world a better place.  Third, smile.

 

Question:  Where do you draw the line between turning something over to God or taking responsibility?

Answer from PWP:  That is the most intriguing paradox in life.  If I think it is all up to me, I get arrogant and lose sight of my purpose.  If I think it is all up to God, then I don’t do anything.  The paradox is that I must act in order to have the higher power act through me.  I can’t do it on my own, yet I am the instrument and nothing happens if I don’t take responsibility.  It’s like with prayer.  I don’t pray for results.  I pray for the strength to do my part to help produce the results.

 

Question:  Where does love fit into all of this?

Answer from PWP:  Love is the way we interact with other people and the world.  We can define this interaction purely from our own self-centered viewpoint or we can define it from the larger perspective of what is right for life.  Let me give you an example.  My goal is to sweep the mall each day I’m here.  What happens when I encounter a lost child sitting in the play area, crying?  I could just move on thinking that I don’t have time to let this child interfere with my goal or I could stop, comfort the child and help find the parent.  This later action would delay achieving my goal of sweeping the mall, but it is what is being asked of me at that time.

 

Question:  Doesn’t that mean that you didn’t define a lofty enough goal to begin with?

Answer from PWP: (smiles) No.  It means that the higher purpose is wrapped around the specific goal I’ve set.  As we discussed earlier, the important part is the journey.  We can be so preoccupied with achieving the goal that we lose sight of why we’re pursing it.  Then when we get there we feel empty and disappointed.  Or we pursue the specific goal as a commitment to a life of love, and any deviation along the way is to serve the higher purpose.  To achieve any lofty goal we must take a first step.  We can’t solve world hunger without feeding a mouth at a time.  I can’t clean the mall without first moving my broom.  When I’ve emptied the last dustpan at the end of the day, I reflect back on where I started in the morning, the people I’ve met along the way and know that I’ve achieved something worthwhile.

 

Question:  Any final comments?

Answer from PWP:  It’s good to be here, living this life at this time.  Now if you’ll lift your foot up, I’ll be happy to sweep away the toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.