Stories and Jokes People Tell Me

While giving talks this last week, numerous people shared their stories and jokes with me. Here are some of my favorites. Old people don’t get the West Nile virus. They get C-Nile. A retirement home received a letter addressed to Jerry Atric. Andres Segovia was asked why he still practiced three hours a day in his eighties and answered, “I’m beginning to notice a little improvement.” While singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands,” a woman Alzheimer’s patient instead sang, “He’s got the whole world in his pants.” In my presentation I give a list of how you can tell you’re getting older. One older gentleman gave me a new item to add to my list: You know you’re getting older when what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. Another saying given to me: Wisdom can’t come without age, but age can come without wisdom. Finally, after I spoke about using walking sticks as a good form of exercise, someone piped up and said I could title the next mystery in my series, “Walking Sticks Are Murder.”